Before I forget, the picture that I posted was taken the first week I was here when a group of us were visiting the Grand Mosque. We are all wearing abayas because women can't go into a mosque unless they are covered. We were given a tour by a very friendly, informed young man, served with cold water afterward, and felt very welcome. The mosque is incredibly beautiful-marble, Indian teak, glass windows from Italy, the best materials and furniture from around the world.
Back to my Kuwaiti saga! I've been silent for the past three weeks because I've been processing, reflecting, and considering my options. I didn't want to update my blog until I had everything sorted out. I don't have everything sorted out yet, but I feel it's time to get it down, put it out there.
Along with the ineptitude involved in arranging my flight, and the clocking in/out situation, one of the company administrators tried to enforce a policy of not allowing us to have friends of the opposite gender in our flats(that means our apartments for my Canadian people!) a move that was fought-and won-by our principal(bless his Scouse heart!). Last Wednesday I came home from school(after a particularly bad day that had started with the principal telling me about not getting the esl position) and was informed-in very broken English- by the guy who takes care of our building-that I had a room mate! I was put in a 2 bedroom flat when I arrived and knew there was a possibility of sharing but this was ridiculous! I had been given no warning whatsoever. This man had gone into my apartment when I was not there, taken my suitcases and some clothes I had put in the second bedroom and taken them into my bedroom-where I had 2 piles of dirty clothes(including underwear!) on the floor because I intended to do laundry as soon as I got home. I was freaking furious! This is indicative of how this company treats its teachers, which(along with the conditions at the school)explains the high staff turnover. My new 'roomie' had just arrived after a long flight that originated in Detroit and must have wondered what the hell she'd gotten herself into when she encountered a hopping mad, crazy Canadian woman! As it turns out my American colleague has friends and a fella here and didn't even spend one night in the flat(now living somewhere else), but that doesn't change how this situation was handled, or the fact that I could come home one day next week and find they have moved someone else in here! And then there is the man they hired to run a building with a large, international, English speaking population- a man who barely speaks English. It's really difficult to get anything fixed/sorted when you can't make yourself understood. And the situation is not just frustrating for us; can you imagine not being able to understand English and being constantly bombarded by people speaking that language, making demands on you, and getting frustrated when you don't know what they're saying- and apparently being paid a pittance for the privilege? The poor man wears a look of perpetual frustration. These are not the actions of a company that behaves with integrity, that cares about its employees. I do not feel bound by a sense of loyalty to the company that hired me.
And then there is my apartment. I know, and appreciate that having free accommodation is not a perk that I would enjoy at home. But in the world of ESL teaching and international schools it is part of the compensation package, and in most positions in the Middle East and Asia free-single-accommodation is provided. I knew coming into this job that it only offered shared accommodation. I wasn't wild about the idea but I wanted a job and assumed - obviously naively - that the apartment provided would have 2 separated bedrooms and bathrooms and a living area large enough for two strangers to share. I have a good sized bedroom and being the first in here appropriated the large bathroom that has a real shower and bathtub (which also holds the washing machine room mates would share). The second bedroom is an adequate size but is very close to mine, and the 2nd bathroom is what most westerners refer to as an 'Arab bathroom' - although parts of Europe have ones similar to it. It is very small, with a sink, toilet and shower head in it. That's right-I said shower head-not shower stall. Whenever you shower the entire bathroom gets wet and has to be mopped out afterward-I would not be a happy camper if that is what I had to utilize for the next 10 months-and it is definitely not up to the standards expected by international staff. The living space is totally adequate for a single person or a couple but not, in my opinion, for 2 complete strangers. It is definitely not big enough for two teachers to set up laptops and spread out with all our marking and planning materials. Adding insult to injury my apartment was in a disgustingly filthy state when I arrived. Tired, jet-lagged, and adjusting to a new country and climate, I had to spend hours cleaning-this has been the case with most people I have spoken to. I paid to have my living room carpet and the comforter on my bed dry cleaned and am considering paying a cleaning lady to come in and clean the areas I just haven't had the time or heart to get to. This really isn't rocket science-if you want to attract-and keep-good, qualified teachers-take care of them! The more I experience, the more convinced I become that I should look into starting my own recruiting business in a few years!
This sounds like whining(would you like some cheese with that whine?!), and that really isn't my intention. There are definitely some positive aspects to my job and to life in Kuwait. In Canada teachers get very little prep time; here we have specialist teachers for art(if they can find an art teacher!), music, p.e., ict, french/esl, arabic and islamic studies-so out of 50 classes per week we only have to teach 27-29 - that would never happen at home! I really like my colleagues, my department head and principal seem to be people who support their staff, and, as I said earlier, despite everything I like my kids. And I like this country; I like the warm nights, the salty smell of the ocean that reminds me of home, the palm trees and warm breezes I've been longing for, and the friendly people. Last night I went for dinner with a large group of colleagues. When I went to the washroom I encountered 4 young Kuwaiti girls who all said "hello" to me-one even added "good morning"! They then offered their hands for me to shake and welcomed me to Kuwait-that evoked a smile that spread across my whole face-can you imagine that happening in a restaurant bathroom in Canada?
In conclusion, I have experienced positives and negatives, ups and downs, highs and lows, good days and bad days. I have wrestled with my conscience, searched my heart, and tried to decide on my best course of action. I may not have a choice in where I spend the next 9 months; remaining where I am may be my only option. If that is the case I will make the best of the situation for myself, and do everything I possibly can for my students. I will survive, as I always have, but I feel the cost-to my mental, emotional, and by extension, physical health-will be high. So I have decided that if I am offered a position teaching English as a Second Language, particularly at the college/university level, I will accept it(providing they agree to my returning home for Alex's wedding and graduation). I have two phone interviews set up for tomorrow, one with a university in Saudi Arabia and one with a university in Oman. If I go somewhere else I know I could be jumping from the frying pan into the fire, but at least I would have something on my resume that would help to get me a better position next year. Whatever happens this experience has not been a wasted one. I have learned valuable lessons-the hard way, perhaps, but that wouldn't be the first time and probably won't be the last time that my enlightenment has come at a price! I know that I still possess a strong passion to teach, but I have learned that that passion does not mean I can be happy teaching anything to anyone. I have learned that I cannot be in contact with children and not care - about their education, their well being, their happiness. I have accepted that despite those feelings of care and concern, I have to make decisions based on what is best for my health and happiness, and-as callous as it may sound-my career. I have processed, and reflected, and searched my heart. I know my strengths, I know my weaknesses, I know what I can and cannot bear, and I think I know what I want. All I need now is the resolve and courage to follow wherever this path I am on leads me.
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